I'm Attracted to Much Older Cougars

Hi Lucia,

I’m 32 and I have a lovely partner who is nearly 40 yet I can’t help but feel attracted to much older ladies ranging from 45 to 60.  Is this normal and do most guys feel the same?  Nicky

Hi Nicky,

Although it may not be the norm, it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with the age range you're interested in.  Guys who are into older women don’t usually care what the age is.  As long as they’re attracted to them, it doesn’t make a difference.   

As women continue to take care of themselves, more and more ladies in their 50s and 60s will continue to look fantastic.  Although it will probably never be the norm, there will always be guys who will appreciate a vibrant, confident, sexy woman of any age!

You need to ask yourself if it's worth leaving your current partner for an older woman.  Just because you're attracted to women over 45,  I wouldn't suggest you leave unless you're unhappy.  You got together with her for a reason.  However, if you truly feel you can't be happy unless your partner is over 45, then I say go for it, but please think long and hard before you do.  

Spandex Cub?

Hi Lucia,

I recently discovered your site and think it's/you are great! I am a 35 year old male that has gotten into a relationship with a woman who is 48 years old. I was previously seeing someone before that but the relationship fizzled out and I realized I am more turned on by older women.

So my new girlfriend (I guess we can call her that) is very fit and into working out.  When we are just relaxing, usually at her house, she loves to have me wear spandex around her - anything from shiny nylon to liquid leggings. She loves wearing it herself but loves how it looks on me. Being that she takes care of me, I'll do what it takes to make her happy.

I have been always very open to trying anything and making my partner happy.  I figure if she will do things for me I like, I'll return the favor.  I am curious if you can tell me if you think women when they hit a certain age go through a "mid-life crisis" sexually at some point?   Bobby

Hi Bobby,

Does it really matter whether there is a “mid-life crisis” or not?  Besides, I don’t see a crisis here – I see two people who are sexually open-minded enjoying each other.  As long as everything is consensual, enjoy!  

Why Am I Attracted to Older Women?

Hi Lucia,

I'm 25 and I am finding myself more attracted to older women – 32 and up.  Why is that?  Matt

Hi Matt,

Society has programmed guys to think they should only be attracted to nubile 20 something’s, so when they find themselves interested in an older woman (even if she’s only 7 years older), they question themselves.  As women continue to take care of themselves and maintain their looks, there’s no reason why men can’t still find them attractive, just because they are over 30 or 40.

Besides the physical appearance, they have many other desirable personality traits such as confidence, comfortable with their sexuality, life experience, knowing what they want and not being afraid to communicate it.  There is also usually less drama associated with an older woman.  She will not call/text you 10 times a day or want to know where you are every minute. 

The lifestyle is becoming more and more acceptable, so there’s no need to be embarrassed or ashamed.  If you’d like to date older women, go for it!  Welcome to the Cougar Revolution!